No Chance

Well... the title already gives it a negative connotation, am I right? Let me tell you, I had a semi unfornate event happen to me this weekend. I lost my phone.

Yes, I lost my phone. My connection to the outside world, my family, my friends, and my ticket to always having someone to talk to if I need it. Well.. that was all taken away with one silly game of hide and seek.

I was at my friend Jake's house, who lives in Rockport, for his graduation party. There was a large group of us there, I only knew Jake, but we were all getting along really well. Caytee, a new friend of mine, suggested playing hide and seek in the big field. Yeah, that sounded fun... right?

So, me and Jake decide that we'll be the seekers first. So, we go and we find everyone. Not a big deal. Then, it was our turn to hide with the rest of the group, and a couple other girls were counting/seeking. So he decides we're going to run all the way across this field and hide in a small ditch where there are tons of thorn bushes. Yeah. I'm never letting him choose the place again. Well, we get to the hiding spot, and I realize I don't have my phone. I feel in my hoodie pocket, my jeans pockets, anywhere. I look where we were hiding, I have Jake call hoping that maybe the phone landed face up or was in my pocket after all... but no.

It was dark, raining, the phone was on vibrate, apparently it landed face down, and we were in Rockport. Yeah, not a good situation. There was NO chance whatsoever of finding that phone. The worst part about that was the fact that I had no idea where I was, or how to get home. And if I got lost in Rockport... I would NEVER find my way out. So, I had to stay until midnight so Jake could lead me to Reo, from there it was a straight road.

I got a new phone the next day... so all was well... but still. I wish I still had that phone.

Tired/Glad

I'm tired of stress. I'm tired of walking on glass with my family, hoping I don't step too hard and get in trouble. I'm tired of thinking about finals. I'm tired of thinking what I should do instead of what I want to do... I'm not stupid, I can make good decisions most of the time. I'm tired of telling people that we should hang out more to be nice, without intention to do so. I'm tired of not talking to my best friend in the world as much as I used to.... I miss you Sarah! I'm tired of thinking about what I'm going to do after high school when I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I'm tired of guys and their games. I'm tired of having that butterfly feeling just to watch and feel it slowly fade away the longer you're with someone. I'm tired of classes that we learn nothing in, and I'm tired of trying to make sure I have straight A's so I can get into Vanderbilt. Get the point, yet? Heck, I'm tired of BEING tired!

What I'm not tired of though, is a list that greatly exceeds what I am tired of. I'm glad that I'm still in school, and able to go to school, for that matter. I'm glad that I'm getting a good education so that I can some day support my family and be a contribution to the world. I'm glad that I have my best friends Sarah, Briget, Jake, and Krystal for talking me through so many hard times in my life, or just telling me how it is. I'm thankful that God gave me the full ability to walk and function, whether it be a little painful sometimes or not. I'm thankful for all the love and support I get from my family, and I'm thankful I have my mom who would do anything for me. I'm thankful for so much, and sometimes I feel that I forget how much I really have... Not today. Today, I'm happy with what I have. :)

Flood Day

Well, we finally cloed down for the flooding! I'm honestly surprised we hadn't shut down sooner, with as nuch flooding as there has been in Utica and in Stanley. US 60 is shut down, there are houses off 431 that have to take BOATS to their homes... and that doesn't call for shutting down school? I read on the website that we can only miss two days because of the flood without having to make up the days, if we're approved for having emergency days. I honestly wouldn't mind if we got out on a Friday instead of a Thursday, but if we have to come to school on a Monday... I'll exempt those finals just for that reason! I'd HATE coming one random Monday, that's my least favorite day of the week!

Well, with my flood day, which was ironically gorgeous as can be, I went to my grandmother's house to do some yardwork, to make the yard look nice for my prom pictures on Saturday. I'm excited!! And I got a bit of a burn on the back of my neck... but its not bad at all!

Technology and Me

My favorite piece of technology that is in my daily life is my iPod touch! It just amazes me that touch screens work... like how it KNOWS to touch what you touch! Whoever invented that was rather intelligent! I love how I can have all of my favorite songs, and how organized they are, and however I want to organize them! I can create playlists of my favorite songs, or songs for running, songs that I sang in All State Chorus... it's amazing! Then the apps! I have sudoku, mahjong, paper toss, stars, facebook... all kinds! And I can even categorize those! I'm in love with my iPod touch :)

Mononucleosis

This is seriously driving me insane. I hate missing school, mainly because of all the work that I have to make up when I come back. Today, for example, I missed a test in biology, a quote quiz, and a vocab quiz in English. Fun, right? Of course, I'll take my study hall to make everything up, but still. So why not go to school and just push through it, you ask? Because mononucleosis makes that nearly impossible. Some mornings you wake up fine, the next you'll be so nauteous that you don't wanna move out of bed, then the lovely headaches, and the pain in your upper left stomach (spleen and liver, for those who don't know)... yeah, that's no fun.

The Game

No, not that stupid game where if you think about it, you lose. No, this game is something much more serious, the "game of love", to be cliche. Honestly, I've never believed in the whole gamplaying thing... we're almost adults, why are we still playing games? But isn't EVERYTHING a game? Or is it only a game because we've turned it into a game?

Now that I'm older, and have more experience and have seen the way things work, I actually do believe that this entire life that we live, as far as interacting with other human beings, is a game. There's no way to change it. I don't think that's the way it should be, but what does that matter, in the scheme of things? It doesn't, so there's that.

But now we're left to this game, where no one knows the rules except those who claim that they know the rules, and write books to give advice to us poor misinformed people. Forget that! No one knows, and no one ever will. This is mostly a game of chance, not strategy. Sure, you can strategize to flirt with someone, to feed them your attention for a little while, then pull away, then feed back into them, to keep them guessing, but its only a CHANCE that the other person will buy into it, and stay once you appear to have lost interest.

Why does it have to be a game? Why can't we all just live, and see where life goes? Sure, I guess that could get boring... but so many hearts would be saved that way.

Teachers and Students

An event today actually caused me to think about this. Teachers must learn a lot about us by having us in class, and by hearing others talk about us in other classes. They can learn who we're dating, who our best friend is, what the latest scandal was, where you went over spring break... just think about what these adults really know about you! Kinda scary, isn't it?

But what happens when they get behind, and they missed a memo that seems like a massive deal to the chlidren our age? Well, they can be like one teacher that I adore, and end up putting her foot in her mouth in front of the entire class... I felt so bad for her today! Of course, it really wasn't her fault, its not like teachers can ALWAYS keep up.

But what if teachers got together some kind of personal network where they can share gossip with eachother, where each child has a page where anyone can go in and write what they heard about this person?! Now THAT'S scary! But, who knows!