Random!

Here we go again!!!

Demi Lovato!

Apparently she's on drugs? that was a turn I wasn't expecting. It's kinda sad because she actually has a good voice....

Beyonce. I think she has the most AMAZING voice ever. I don't care if she writes her own songs or not... she performs EVERY SINGLE ONE like its her own!

Single Ladies!

Yeah, I went there....

Being single really can be fun... but I don't think I'll miss it that much :)

I really miss a lot of people right now. The top of my list is my Mamaw Brenda who passed away a couple years ago from lung cancer.

Cigarettes are gross! They're not attractive, and they stink. Literally. Just don't smoke.

Live above the influence!

So many commercials...

I can't get these dumb Christmas carols sung by British kids out of my head!

Straight No Chaser- Christmas Can Can... look it up. Right now. It's awesome.

Our God, is an awesome God He reigns, from Heaven above...

and wonders of His love, and wonders of His love... (stop staring at the computer screen like that, I can't see you!)

was blind, but now, I see...

Good Lord help me.

There can be miracles, when you believe

apparently Whitney Houston is on drugs too? What is it with these famous people?

If you ask me, fame doesn't seem that glamorous. I'm the type of person who needs some personal space, and will not be happy when they're crossed. I will get arrested for assault after too long, with the way some of these paparrazi people act!

Haha, Paffarazzi : ) FORGET YEARBOOK, CALL IT THE PAFFARAZZI!!!

Yeah, APUSH is awesome.

Oh My Gosh. Finals are next week...

I'll prolly not do very good in APUSH...

But oh well. Once I graduate, I'll just... smile because it happened...

O Christmas Tree

Wow, that video was amazing. I think I've seen something like that before. I would show it to my family, but knowing them, they'll try to duplicate it, and it won't be pretty. But actually, my favorite part of Christmas decorations aren't the lights on the houses, even though they can get to be pretty entertaining... Actually, what I really look forward to seeing every year are the differnt ways Christmas trees are decorated. I'm especially fond of how the tree at my mom's house looks every year. It's absolutely stunning, and something about it makes you want to curl up by a cozy fire place with some hot chocolate watching some old cheesy Christmas movie. It's an older tree, older than I am, and yes, some of the branches HAVE fallen off, and yes, we have just gotten BIGGER ornaments to fill in the gaps! The tree is full of cherubs, snowmen, gold, crimson, ribbon, and of course some of the ornaments my sister and I had made in the third grade... But its just a beautiful tree, and we have a lovely vintage star to put on top... I love our tree. Maybe that's just because that's how it always is, thanks to Mom's great eye for decorations and design...

I also love how Mamaw's tree is decorated, who is my mother's mom... So I guess that's where she got it from??

I don't know, but I hope I inherit the decorations, or at least a good enough eye to make my tree look as beautiful... and even if I don't, I'll look back at the tree mom decorated and just... smile because it happened...

Thanksgiving Tradition

I guess my Thanksgiving tradition is pretty normal. Go to Dad's side of the family to visit my great grandmother and distant family that I don't talk to on any other occassion, and then Go to Mom's for the real Thanksgiving dinner... Then eat the leftovers for weeks. I love being able to see people that I don't get to see, to hear some news (which honestly is never very exciting in my family), and listen to the dysfunctional arguing of the families on both sides.

So I guess you could really say I have a normal tradition (as normal as a holiday will be for a child of divorced parents) with a ton of abnormal people. It really could be worse... But I love our family get togethers, and the awesome food that comes with it! Christmas will be even better, I just know it! But maybe that's my inner child speaking? You can decide on that one!!

But every year, the people get stranger, and the laughs come harder, the smiles grow bigger, the kids get taller and the old people get more wrinkles... but in the end, looking back, I'll just... smile because it happened.

Music

Isn't music a funny thing? Think about this logically... you can't SEE music... you can't FEEL music... but it can move someone with greater force than any physical force. That's amazing to me. Music starts out as individual notes, seemingly insignificant, but once strung together, they become the most beautiful ballad. Or maybe, its the opposite, and they become a powerful march, or a fun dance song, or even so devastatingly sad it moves us to tears. Every song tells a story, some of them can be similar, but not a single song out there is written exactly the same... and it's very interesting that out of 8 notes... an infinite combination can be made to form full genres of music.

Now, not everyone is moved in the same way. Like poetry, songs can be interpreted in many different ways... and that's another main part of the beauty of it all. Almost every song can be made personal, and then this invisible, untactile occurrence develops a meaning. And that is exactly what music is all about.

"But I have to wonder, where did it all start? Who found out that nothing can capture a heart like a melody can?" A line from the song "Thank You For the Music" version by Amanda Seyfreid. Who found music? When? I will never know, but even the oldest of people knew that there was more to life than what the eye can see, and every time they heard that music, they would just... smile because it happened...

Strange Weather

The weather lately has been absolutely insane... I mean... since when is it almost 80 degrees in November? It doesn't make any sense, and actually... its a little scary... I always associate warm weather in the colder seasons with tornadoes... and I don't really like storms! Of course, we did have that tornado warning just the other day... Oh well. Hopefully things will even out soon. Don't get me wrong, I love the warm weather, in fact, I think we should skip winter on every other day but christmas eve and christmas and just be in fall and spring all year round... But warm weather just isn't right during this time of year!

And, admittedly, I'm more worried about my car than my house... I mean, I can't park in my garage, so I really don't want stuff flying around, and putting a huge dent in my car! Surely you understand!

But, even if there is a tornado, and I get a dent in my car... I'll have no choice, but to just... smile because it happened...

Already?!

It seems that once the cold weather sets in... time decides to fly. Not that I'm really complaining, because honestly, I don't like the cold weather that much. I'm a cold-natured person, my average temperature is about 96 degrees... I don't need 30 degree weather to add to that! Not to mention I have awful allergies! But once September rolls around... I can't believe its the middle of November! Thanksgiving is just around the corner... almost literally.

Really, I'm just thankful for the fact we're almost half way through the school year.

It's a scary concept, that time can actually "fly". We take moments for advantage, or hold on to the wrong moments in life. We develop these unnecessary emotions over the smallest trifles... But that's what Thanksgiving is all about. We forget the bad things going in our lives, and join with our families to remember the good things.

Personally, I'm thankful for a lot of things. I'm thankful for my mom, who is my role model, and the rest of my family, of course. I'm even thankful for my little sister... who annoys the crap out of me, for the record. I'm thankful for my friends, too, Sarah, Krystal, Briget, Kaitlin, Brienna, Tabby, Bobby, Gray, Nathan... I don't know what I'd do without them. I'm thankful for my teachers who are setting me up for the rest of my life. I'm thankful for all the bad things God has put me through, because without them I wouldn't enjoy the good times I have. I'm thankful for cheerleading for taking so much of my time that I'm never bored. I'm thankful for technology for keeping me connected to people I wouldn't be able to talk to in any other circumstance. I'm thankful for God in general, for always being there, whether I remember that He is or not, and I'm thankful for music, one of the only ways for me to maintain sanity.

I'm still freaking out that the Holidays are right around the corner, along with the crazy shopping involved... But once it's all over, I'll just.... smile because it happened...

Smile

I guess it makes sense. When you're old, you've lost the one person you love most, or several people you love most, its hard to find happiness. When your body doesn't work the way it used to, when you don't have the same abilities you used to... It's gotta be depressing. No one likes getting old, I can't think o fone person who has ever been thankful for the fact they're getting older. In our society, getting old is associated with being closer to death... And daeth is something that is highly feared in our society, it seems. Whether it should be or not, I'm not sure. I've never died. But my faith keeps me from fearing it, because I believe that I will be taken care of afer I die...

But that's a who other bridge to cross. What about the path to that bridge, the old age portion? You lose people, you remember losing people, you miss people, you miss activities, you miss a lot of things. But at hte same time, when you age, you get to meet so many more people, experience so many more things, and be able to give advice to the young, so they won't make the same mistakes you did. The world wouldn't turn without the older people.

So, when you reach that state, how do you keep your happiness? There are some things you simply can't control, but what you can control must be taken with a positive outlook. Of course, that's easier said than done, but it takes only a little more effort to smile at whatever happens in life, than to frown. Surely you've heard the quote about how it takes almost 50 muscles to frown, but less than 5 to smile. The amout of effort someone puts into something mentally can't be counted in muscles, but think about it, doesn't life seem much easier when you smile? We were designed to be a pleasant people, to rejoice and sing and dance and laugh and smile and have fun. Our ideas of fun have changed, yes, and our lifestyles require more than pure joy to get through the day. And of course, there are always times in our lives that will upset us, bring us down. The good thing, though, is that when there are hard times, we enjoy the easy times much more because we will always remember what it was like when we had to go through that rough time.

So, remember the hard times, remember the bad, but in the end, just... smile because it happened...

Scars

"Scars can be painful, but they're a badge of courage. The strong ones are the ones who have the scars, everyone else keeps the wound."

Life goes on, and so should you. It's a simple, blunt fact of life. There's no getting around it. I mean, there is, but it's hard to catch back up. Believe me. Whatever pain you're feeling today... it'll only last for a little while. It may be the worst pain you've ever felt, or maybe the worst is to come, but either way, if there wasn't pain, there wouldn't be any enjoyment in the happiness. As a teenager especially, heart break is guaranteed, and should almost be expected. There's no way to brace yourself, or to prepare for it. It's one of the few phenomena in life that one must take as it comes, and not try to anticipate. Nothing good can come out of that.

At the same time, when someone is wounded, they try to protect that wound from as much as they can. Maybe they'll show a few people, but the rest of the world sees a bandage, a sign to not try to touch, not to ask about it, just try to ignore it. Don't stare, don't laugh: that kind of deal. And if all you do is hide that wound from the world... It's never going to get better. Sure, sometimes something will hit it again, and you'll feel the same pain you did when you first got it... or maybe you realize after a while, the pain becomes less and less unbearable, eventually causing you not to wince at all when something hits the wound.

But scars are so much easier to have. They may change your way of thinking, and your way of life forever, but at least the pain is more likely to stay away, and you can show people those scars without being ashamed or embarassed, and maybe you can use those scars to get better...

It's all a process. And time doesn't heal all wounds, the person does. If you don't want a wound to heal, it won't. Sorry. You have to put forth a little effort, and praying seems to help, if you ask me.

But since you didn't, don't be embarassed of your scars. And don't be worrying that once you do finally allow the would to heal, you'll have to explain it to everyone, because you won't. It's nothing to be ashamed of, in fact, you should be proud, because now, you can just... smile because it happened...

Randomness!!!!!

I gave blood yesterday... I'm not so sure it was a smart decision.... I was so dizzy! But I feel better today!

There's a funny taste in my mouth, I wish there was a way that I could brush my teeth at school after I eat breakfast...

I really wish this day would hurry up. Yay for early release!

Some people can be so stuck up. Kinda makes me wanna let them know... but I'll let them continue to make a fool out of themselves.

Wearing a sticker on your forehead is not attractive unless you are from India. Thanks.

No, Japanese and Chinese are NOT the same languages, and no, the food is not the same either!
I hate Chinese food, but can eat Japanese all day.

Ignorance is your new best friend, Ignorance is your new best friend! (random song!)

Ohh, my best friend is Sarah Bowley! Well, I have a few... Sarah, Krystal, Briget, Bobby, Nathan, and Kim!

I'm glad I only have a few best friends, its so much easier that way!

You make me crazier, crazier! (Another random song)

I don't think its possible for me to get any crazier... Oh man are we in trouble!

Double Double Toil and Trouble!

It's almost halloween! I'm going to a Halloween party... then probably just sleeping.

I'm so tired! I don't think I got enough sleep last night.

I'm tired of being tired!

And okay, I'm through with being random. Good night everyone, I'll be here for the next two years!

And now that this post is over, you can just... smile because it happened...

I Can See the Future!

Um... no. Not really. I can't even decide what college I want to go to, much less predict the future for anyone else. There's so much pressure on us already to decide what college we want to go to and the major we should pursue. Then, there's teh ever lasting question of "what do you want to do when you grow up?". How the heck am I supposed to know? Because I've always been on a higher education level, I've been expected to just know what I want to be. A doctor, lawyer, politician, the first female president of the United States. No. I don't like politics, I can't stand blood, and I'm not good at arguing! Besides there are so many more jobs than the typical dream professions. I've considered being and international mediator, especially with Hispanic countries. But, that's as close as I've gotten. It doesn't seem like there are a whole lot of opportunities in this world... and it doesn't look like more will come up. Honestly, after college, I'm pretty sure I'll be taking whatever job I can get at the time.

So why do we have to worry so much about what we want? In the end, it doesn't really seem to matter. There are very few people who get and education then find a career that matches that education that they truly enjoy. It just doesn't happen. And the economy... don't even get me started. all I'm saying is that this whole pressure about figuring out who and what you want to be is just too much trouble.

But I think, that once I graduate, I'll just... smile because it happened...

Think About It

This was just a thought that I had yesterday at cheerleading practice, while we were working on different stunts and jumps. What are we thinking? We've made a sport, similar to gymnastics, full of things God probably did not intend our bodies for!

Let's start with tumbling. I'm pretty sure we walk on our feet, and learn to do so as children, for a reason. Yes, sometimes its necessary to jump to get from point A to point B... but really, flying backwards, landing on your hands, snapping your feet down, and standing up... what purpose is there? None, but the sheer enjoyment of doing it. How about jumping into the air as high as you can, pulling in your knees, and flipping over to land on your feet again without your hand ever touching the ground, called the back tuck? Nope, can't think of a reason for it either! Then, there's the ever-ominous standing full, managing not only to do a complete rotation of hips over head in the air to land on your feet again, but also pulling your weight so you complete a full rotation (think of spinning in a circle while you're standing up) all at the same time... Is there a purpose? No. Is it fun? Heck yes!

Then, jumping. My coaches' favorite part of practice, it seems. Lifting your body up in the air, and pulling your legs up as high as you can, then snapping them back down to land with your feet together before gravity brings you to the floor. Yeah. It's not nearly as fun as it sounds. In fact, if you didn't stretch right, it HURTS. Badly. It takes a lot of muscles to jump like that, either in a toe touch, a pike, or a hurkey or hurdler. It's all difficult if you don't have splits down to the floor... And even with splits to the floor, it can be hard. I know my flexibility is pretty high... but its all in the explosiveness and power of your legs as you jump that makes it a good jump. Now, is there a purpose? No, not really. Does it acheive a common purpose? No, not really. But is it fun? Heck yes!

Now, the best part. Stunting. Did God intend people to lift up other people in stunts? Probably not. And if we weren't intended to lift people in stunts, we definitely were not intended to work in flips and turns and pulling your leg as close to your leg as possible into the mix. A hundred and ten pounds isn't much, that's true, but when there's no way for the top to shift her weight without endangering the stunt... it can get kind of heavy. Hands burn from friction. Eyes, shoulders, noses, lips, stomachs, even knees (if you're talented) can get hurt in the process, and that goes for all people in the stunt. But actually, stunting is my favorite part of cheerleading, even though this was the aspect that broke my nose... That's another story in itself. But over all, people were not really intended to take up other people in stunts. But is it fun? Heck yes.

Okay, so is there anything that really makes sense? Yeah, to cheerleaders, because we love it. But to anyone else, and even when you really analyze the different aspects of it? Not at all. The same could be said for gymnastics, but I'll let Sarah tell you all about that! I have literally given blood, sweat, and tears to cheerleading... I've had a broken nose, torn a ligament in my elbow, strained hip flexor, pulled muscles, bruised in the arms, legs, chest, and shoulders. I get so sore I can barely walk, I run until my lungs hurt, I lift weight until my arms give out, and I jump until my legs shake. That being said, would cheerleading be worth it to most people? Probably not. But to me, it is worth that, and probably more. It seems to be my only sanity right now, taking enough time so that I'm not bored, and taking enough time so that I feel like I have to rush, which is a feeling I actually like (another point to discuss later). When you think about it, it doesn't make sense... but in the end, once I walk off that competition floor for the last time, I'll just... smile because it happened...

You Know It's Bad When...

Okay, you know its bad when you're used to being so busy, that when fall break rolls around, you feel like you are accomplishing absolutely nothing. I mean, seriously? I've been waiting for Fall Break since school started. No, I don't have any major plans, but I just needed the break! I told myself that once Fall Break got here, I would regain enough energy to make it through the rest of the semester with a strong finish.

And now I feel lazy.

I have no cheerleading, not enough homework to fill time, the house is clean, now, its thundering. I've been to my friend's house, and I've found my homecoming dress. Now what?! Why does it kill me to not do anything?

Knowing my luck, I'll finally start to relax by Sunday... just in time to get to school the next morning. Hopefully, on winter break, I won't have this feeling! I'll just... smile because it happened...

Only Real to Me

What is happening?

Darkness.

Silence.

Fighting...

But with who?

I wrought these chains

I clasped them around my own ankles

My own wrists...

What have I done?

Bass drums beating through the air

Slow, steady,

Declaring war.

Horns playing in a minor key,

Low rumbling notes paired with a high somber melody:

Declaring war.

Shadows dance on the wall

I've almost lost all sight

Only enough, now, to see the shadows

Passing me by

Without a caring look my way.

But why can't they see?

These chains are so real to me...

Am I the only one that sees them, that feels them?

It simply cannot be.

I can't smell, I can't breathe

I'm suffocating

Whose is the hand around my neck?

They're too heavy,

I can't move forward, I can't even move back

Why are these chains only real to me?

I'm confused, please explain

Why haven't you noticed my pain

Why haven't you found the key

To unlock my feet

I wanna run

I'm fighting again

Arms swinging, feet thrashing

But to no gain.

I remain in my cell

The bars thick and heavy

Little light comes in

But what light I can see

Is a promising light,

Promsing peace, salvation.

I've seen that light before.

I loved that light.

There's nothing I wouldn't give to have it back

But something happened,

Now I'm trapped

I've done this to myself

The chains hold me back

But they're only real to me.

So why can't I break them?

Run to the light I claim to trust so much?

That I Want to trust so much?

One day I'll find the strength,

I'll find that missing key...

Just because these chains aren't real to you

Doesn't mean they aren't real to me.

...smile because it happened...

Every Sense

"Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn." - Elizabeth Lawrence

Autumn is a beatiful time of year. The air gets cool enough to keep you feel refreshed, without freezing you, the leaves turn colors and eventually litter lawns all over town.. It's a season that satisfies every sense. Sight: the leaves, of course, plus all the festivities of bonfires, fall festivals, and leaf-pile jumping. Smell: cinnamon, apple cider, pumpkin pie... and food on Thanksgiving. Enough said. Taste: Halloween and Thanksgiving. Once again, enough said. Hearing: laughter as kids play outside. And finally, touch, the cool air, soft breeze, and warming sensation of a hoodie.

It's sad that this season seems to be cut short every year. It doesn't get cool soon enough, and gets too cold too fast. When I think of autumn, I think of warmth of heart, maybe not physical warmth (especially since I'm cold-natured). It's by far my favorite season of the year, closely followed by spring. Either way, I will miss this fall, but its the natural progression, and it will always return next year. And when winter comes, whiting out the world, I'll just remember to... smile because it happened...

Fake Smiles

Stress.

I remember when I used to smile,

showing my teeth all the while.

Now it takes so much effort to move

Doesn't anyone see it?

I was once an actress

but why do we have to play a part

in a theatre that should be fully dedicated to ourselves?

This theatre must be my comfort zone

because every single day

the applause gets louder...

but what have I done to deserve it?

I snap, I break

the applause becomes an earth quake

I'm screaming, I'm falling

Please, God, don't take me to that place.

I wanna stay whole

I wanna stay in tact.

But please, God, please don't bring me back

to the place where I stay idle

flashing only fake smiles.

Take me somewhere with a yellow brick road

No forks to misguide me.

Show me right where I need to go

To that shining Emerald City.

Where nothing can touch me.

...smile because it happened...

Realize What You Have

Why do so many people lose their lives in random terrorist attacks? Why do children develop cancer? Why does ANYONE develop cancer? Why do we lose the one person we ask God to keep safe? Why do we get separated from the people who made us the happiest? Why do we ever feel pain, and why do we have to cry?

It doesn't seem fair, that we live through all this pain, this suffering. But it's life. In fact, if we didn't have these times of darkness, we would never learn to appreciate the light. That cliche, that you never know what you have until its gone, can be true in this case. If we always had happiness, sure, it sounds like a better life, but those things that make us so happy would no longer be a big deal, and we would never really realize what we have... we would never be able to appreciate it.

So, live through the pain, keep it in mind... but in the end, just... smile because it happened...

Remember

The things we want to remember most

We most quickly forget

And the time we want to forget

There's no way to get rid of it

Move on, move out

Get away, get involved

But does that really help?

How can you control it?

"Just don't think about it."

...much easier said than done

But what happens when the things we once wanted to remember

we now wish we'd forget?

What do you do then?

Hide it, embrace it,
live and learn,
love and forget:

either way you'll never get what you wanted.

either way, you are not yourself.

So why do we try?

Why were we even given memories at all?

A blessing, or a curse...

Remember love, remember a song

remember a person,

remember who you wanted to be

remember who you are

think of all the good times

think of all the bad
...memories all the same...

Eventually they will all fade.

Then will you wish you'd never wished them away?

...smile because it happened...

Back-Breaking

I continue to keep my mouth shut, my teeth gritted. There's no getting out of this. It's life, no questions. Get over it. My back is breaking... but someone else's, somewhere, is already broken. Why should I complain? Just smile, and move on with life. But it seems like every time someone smiles at me, I feel obligated to smile back... but I feel guilty when all I can offer is a strained grin that doesn't even attempt to feign happiness. It feels like the stress just paralyzes the muscles in my face... making a smile almost a wince of pain.

So now I have to stress about showing my stress? Great.

I don't really like complaining. I never have. Don't get me wrong, I complain... but I don't really like to. Not as much as I feel like I do now. I want to keep my mouth shut, forget about it, just deal with it, because everyone else deals with it too, right? Yeah, to some extent. It just seems really hard right now, and I don't understand why. So many expectations, from so many different people... how much is one person able to do? I guess I'm going to find out...

But at what expense?

I love helping people, I really do. Nothing makes me feel more accomplished than when I've helped someone out in some way... but how much can I really take?

Once I find out, I'll let you know... and just... smile because it happened...

Give and Take

"Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting."

An important lesson many still have to learn. No matter where you are in life, there is always someone who has it worse than you. And it really only makes sense to give and help what you can to help those who truly do have it worse than you. It doesn't have to be a big contribution. Maybe buying a warm dinner for a homeless person, or donating money to the Red Cross, or some other charity. Or, perhaps, its just lending a shoulder to cry on or an ear for listening. The smallest action can make a difference in someone's life. Even if not for a long time, for some amount of time.

Or maybe its not charity, maybe its paying for your friends' lunch when they left their money at home, or helping a classmate with homework they're having trouble with. Giving is giving, no matter who it is directed towards.

In that spirit of giving, it only makes sense that one should not expect anything in return. The whole point of charity is to hep those who are less fortunate, not gain from those who are less fortunate. Seems like common sense to me, but greed has started to take over, generation by generation, and seemingly only getting worse. Our entire lives, we are told the importance of money and wealth, and it seems that the objective is not to become a successful man or woman in ones' profession, but the wealthiest, the most fortunate. Then, once one reaches that desired level of wealth, they are told that they should donate money to charity... and some do. But honestly, most of them are hypocrites. They strive to be known for doing their "good deeds", not for its effect. A truly charitble person doesn't care to be known at all. It kind of reminds me of that passage in the Bible, where Jesus tells his disciples that those who pray in the streets are hypocrites, that the true believers will pray behind closed doors. The concept of giving should be purely for giving, not for expecting anything in turn, and not to be held over someone's head for the rest of their life. When you give, simply give, and forget. God will remember, and so will the other person, so you don't have to worry about it.

On that same note, many times, people forget what they are given in their lives. When children disrespect their parents, they forget that the parents gave them life, shelter, food, water... well, most parents do. (I do understand there are a few exceptions to this statement). But most commonly, there is really nothing that the children have a right to complain about. Then, there are those who recieve kindness, someone returning a lost item, someone cooking dinner, paying for a meal, being there when no one else was... all are acts of kindness, that one does usually because they care about that person or the person's well being. And when someone complains, saying that they never get a break, that they have to do everything by themselves, they are deliberately disrespecting those who make an effort to aid them.

Why giving has become such a contest, I will never know. I myself am guilty of it, and I have to catch myself. I'm still working to become someone who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

And when I become that person, I'll just... smile because it happened.

Delusional People Annoy Me

I get it. Education is important. I agree. What I do not agree with, however, is the fact that we spend eight hours of our day, not including extra time in the morning, and extra curriculars, at school. We only have 120 hours of life in one school week, one third (if not more) of which are spent at school. Then, at least an extra forty hours should be allotted for sleep, according to most scientists on teenage and childhood development. Leaving us with 40 or less hours in a week for anything else we have going on. Okay. That I can deal with, its part of life, preparing us for work as adults. I get it.

Our classes are about an hour and a half long. That should be more than enough time to get the point across, right? Sure, projects and other activities have to be added in to make sure everything is understood. That's fine. So, the teacher assigns homework. Homework that is purely intended to help the student learn the information, I'm all for. I'm a straight A Honor's student, and the only way to stay that way is to understand what I'm being taught.

Now I'm just wondering... does it take an entire packet, due by next class, to get said point across? A small review, a few problems... not much more is necessary. Believe me. WE GET IT. And those who have trouble can come to the teacher and ask for help. That works, right? Apparently not, because we are loaded with tons of homework almost every night. And people wonder why kids hate school so much? They don't have a life! I'm not talking about hanging out with friends... they don't even have time to spend with their families.

So we get a lot of homework. For pretty much every class. It's possible to get it done in the two nights, I agree. I never don't do my work. I do as much as I need to do to get the work done. However, sometimes this can really rack up in hours... sometimes up to four hours of homework every night. Admittedly, I take a break to change songs, or to allow my mind to rest for a short while or so... But my main focus for those hours is homework.

And maybe four hours isn't so bad, every night, if you spread it out. But here's another issue. We are pushed to join clubs, to get involved in school, to be an active member of the community, and to get fit. I agree, all are very important. But when are we supposed to have time? Not everything can be fit into the two days called weekends, which I call my make-up work time. Take myself for example. I'm a cheerleader. So, at least two hours of my day is spent practicing for cheerleading Monday through Thursday, Wednesday I have two practices, which adds another hour, then Friday, when there is a football game, I can be involved for up to five hours. Okay. So Monday through Thursday is eleven hours, then the other five would make sixteen more hours out of my week, putting me down to twenty four hours. One full day of time for myself. Right?

Wrong, because I'm involved in so many other activities, that twenty four hours is used up extremely fast. On top of cheerleading, I'm a KOM mentor, NHS member, I'm also in band, chorus, FCA, Key Club, and plan on joining AYL, CEC, and Beta Club. I realize that I sign myself up for it. But that's what I'm expected to do, be involved, be a cheerleader, but keep my grades up, and keep my friends. I'm managing, but why does it have to be this difficult?

Apparently not. And in case you were wondering, I have to dip into my sleeping hours, much like other students, to be able to complete everything I need to finish. I only get anywhere from 20 to 30 hours of sleep per school week. Crazy huh?

So, let's review. Doctors and researchers are delusional, because apparently they can't collaborate with the teachers to figure out that we don't have enough time in the day to do everything they're telling us we need to do: sleep at least 8 hours a night, get involved, keep good grades, do all your homework, be a good friend, be a good person, get healthier, work out more. DELUSIONAL. It's not possible in my schedule, I'd like to meet the person who can... because I'm out of hours.

Weekends help... but honestly, two days out of seven does not provide near enough relief from the stress. I'm not saying that homework is the only thing to blame here, I realize that students sign themselves up for clubs... but I do think that more realistic expectations should be enforced. It just doesn't seem right that when someone doesn't have enough time to do anything, its their sleep, the most important time for acquiring energy for the body, that suffers.

All in all, delusional people annoy me.

But, once I'm out of school, I'll just...smile because it happened...

The Place I Belong

"One who goes back to his home does not consider the night too dark. He knows his way."- Uganda

Home. There's no better place. Honestly there's not. But let's not get confused. Home isn't just where I live, because that's not what makes a home. A home is something you cannot sell, cannot buy, and cannot find driving around the block. It doesn't work that way. In fact, a home doesn't have to be a physical house at all. Home is the place that you feel safest, feel happiest. Whatever place that is for you... I'm glad you have one, because I'm still looking for mine.

A few years ago, when my dad was thinking about buying a new house, he was talking to the previous owner about the whole process of having a house on the market. My dad, unknowingly, asked about having a "home" on the market. Then the man replied, "I'm not selling my home. I'm selling my house. There's a difference."

It was one of the most insightful quotes I had ever heard at that point in my life. At least, the most insightful from someone who wasn't a pastor or a politician... he was just an ordinary man, selling his house to my dad.

Okay. So home. It doesn't have to be a physical place. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not so sure I've found mine yet. I have so much going on in my life, its hard to say that I have just one place that I like to be, that I feel safest. But I do have a couple candidates. Maybe home is where my family is, where my mom is. My mom has always been my role model, and the one person I can trust to come through on their promise.

Then again... maybe home is where my best friends are. Not necessarily school, because there are some people I'm not too comfortable around... So I guess in this case, home is just a mental condition, a party or a gettogether where I have the few best friends that I really have.

On another thought... maybe home is where there is music involved. Music has been my favorite hobby and a figurative security blanket for as long as I can remember. I feel happiest where music is playing... so maybe that is home.

Sounds a little unreliable, doesn't it? I don't even have a definite place to consider a home. But at the same time, maybe having a few different places that I could consider home is better, because that means more places that I feel safe.

And when I do finally decide where my home, or homes, truly are, I'll just... smile because it happened.

Get Out of My Way!

Dear freshmen and select few of upperclassmen,

My name's Breanna. Nice to meet you. I'm a tall, blonde junior who usually walks pretty fast to get to where she wants to go. I don't stop and talk, so consequently I don't have a whole lot of time to deal with your meandering and casual conversations. So, when you see me coming (and believe me, I'm not easy to miss in this hallway), get out of my way. Take a step to the side, or start walking faster, because I do not have the patience to deal with you today, or any other day. I have enough people getting on my nerves, I don't need you too.

Thanks,

Yours Truly,
Breanna

                                      P.S.: If and WHEN I run you over for walking too slow... just...

smile because it happened.

I'd Like to See You Try!

Cheerleading. The one sport that uses all three principles of fitness, and forces you to keep a smile on while you do it. Strength: we lift people in the air, we push off the ground to tumble, and we hit motions so hard our entire body shakes, we jump off the ground, bring our feet to the level of our shoulders or above, and manage to land without falling over. Flexibility: heel stretches, scorpions, bow and arrows, scales, toe touches, hurkeys, pikes, and hurdlers. Endurance: we manage to showcase tumbling passes, jumps, a cheer, standing tumbling, stunts, dance, basket tosses, and a pyramid into two and a half minutes of floor time.

This is a real sport.

Recently, a judge ruled that cheerleading is not a sport. I've never heard a more ridiculous thing in my entire life. We run, we jump, we fly through the air, we tumble, and we yell at the top of our lungs... and make it look good, with a smile. I'd love to see that judge get to a floor and throw a standing full, or even a standing tuck for that matter. I'd love to see him get through a two and a half minute routine, and still not change his ruling. Idiot. Cheerleading is the second highest injury rate in the country, only after football, which is one of the most brutal sports available in schools... and we're not a sport?

Delusional.

Maybe it looks easy, standing down on the side lines, chanting a memorized phrase a few times, then throwing some spirit out at the crowd. Think again. Our muscles are tense the entire game, only during half time do we get a break. We stand on our feet for at least three hours straight... smiling, and not moving outside of chants and spiriting. And of course when we do actual cheers, we get back into the stunting and tumbling aspect of cheerleading.

So, when that judge gets the courage to stand up and work half as hard as competitive cheerleaders and attempt the feats they find as a daily routine, and he fails, I'll just... smile because it happened.

Let Me Tell You About My Best Friend!

"Friendship doubles joy and halves grief." -Egypt

This Egyptian saying couldn't be any more true. With all the hardships that a single human being can go through in a lifetime, we would be lost without friends. Even in the past 16 years of my life, I've learned that.

My best friend, Sarah, has always been someone that could make me laugh. I've known her since kindegarden, and we've been friends since the first grade. I've always loved going over to her house, and nothing is boring when she's around, so I guess you could say she "doubles my joy".

But she "halves my grief" as well. Not too long ago, just the end of last school year, actually, I was going through a kind of rough time... and going over to Sarah's house seemed to cure my broken heart. She made me laugh for the first time, and she talked with me for hours on end. I don't know if I'd have healed from that event as easily if I didn't have her there with me.

You know you have a true friend when they can make you eat poptarts (which I HATE) after not eating in days.

At the time, it was really hard for me, but because of my best friend, I'm now able to look back, and just... smile because it happened.

Mini-Me

Like sire, like scion.

And as we know it today, like father like son. Well, i'm not a son... and I'm nothing like my dad... But I guess I could manipulate this proverb to fit myself, however, with me being similar to my aunt, Donna.

My aunt is in her mid-fourties now, but we have so much in common. She was the oldest child, just like me. Both of us are/were irritated by younger siblings. My aunt also attended Apollo High School, and guess where I'm sitting right now... If you look at a picture of Donna in high school, and me right now, there's a major similarity, being as we both have light blonde hair and big eyes. Also, in high school, Donna was an eaglette... and I'm a cheerleader, so we were both involved in school spirit.

As far as her personality today and its similarites to mine, there are quite a few to list. She loves to read, as do I. She loves to have a structured schedule, and so do I. She also loves to be around people... but not too much. Guess who feels the same way? She loves travel and try new things... It scares ME how much we're alike.

When I was younger, I was always called mini-me, just because of how much I was like her even in my younger years. And honestly, I take that as a compliment. I love my aunt's personality.

And to this day, when I'm called "Mini-Me", i just ...smile because it happened.

Roots That Run Deep

"A family is like a forest, when you are outside it is dense, when you are inside you see that each tree has its place." - Ghana, Akan Proverb

For me, family is all you have at the end of the day. I know that no matter what I do or say, I always have them to support me, and I appreciate that more than most of my family will ever know. We are a little dysfunctional, maybe, but we love each other just the same.

When you're with your family, you don't really think about how important each person is. There is actually a specific role for each person, and you don't realize that sometimes until that small link in the chain is missing. On my mom's side, my grandmother holds the family together and cooks every meal, despite the fact that she shattered her right wrist and has heart problems. Papaw is the political conversationalist, and my aunts and uncles are still in their high school mentality, even though they are middle aged. My mom is the rebellious one, the one who still has a fire in her heart. My sister is the typical teenage boy-crazy text-sender, and I am the poster child of high school. Straight A's, cheerleader, Christian, talented in singing and piano player, tons of friends, and the overall happy person. It's more responsibility than it seems. I work hard to keep my family impressed.

My dad's side is a little more dysfunctional. They're a family of old money, and that's never a good thing for a family's bonds. My grandmother, who passed away in February of 2009 from lung cancer and surgery complications, held the family together, made sure everyone came to every family event, and cooked the best soul food I've ever tasted. Popa tries to take her place, but he's still recovering from the loss. My aunts and uncles on my dad's side are a little more mature than those on my mom's, but you can tell they don't have the joy in life that my other family does. My dad is like his brothers and sisters, my sister has the same role, and so do I. The poster child of teenagers. I work hard to keep them impressed, too.

So maybe neither family is picture perfect. There are internal conflicts and grudges that would be hard to understand if you weren't involved in the situation, even some that I don't know about yet. either way, I'm the poster child of high school. I'm the cheerleader, I'm the straight A student, the musician, the social butterfly, and the one who is constantly busy. It's kind of crazy, and I'm sure that in twenty years, I'll look back and realize just how crazy it is: how stressed I am now because of that pressure.

But I'll just ...smile because it happend.

Shut Up!

My greatest pet peeve. I was listening to a conversation between some friends at lunch last week... and I was a little disturbed by what I heard. And what's worse is that what disturbed me is common language today... But why?

I can deal with cursing, but the one thing I cannot deal with is when people use insults such as "retard" or "gay" as an insult... and still turn around and say that being mentally challenged is not a bad thing, and some even support gay rights... but still, gay is an insult? Why?

Using "gay" as an insult truly isn't a smart idea. It's a personal choice. It's especially unacceptable to use if you have friends who are homosexual, or support the homosexual rights. If you want to call someone or something gay... just find another word. Find something less offensive to say.

Personally, the "retard" insult is completely unacceptable. Would you say that to a child who truly does have mental disabilities? It's a joke to those who don't have to deal with a disability, but can they imagine how it really feels? When you tell someone that you are a "retard", just shut up. Rephrase it, and just say "I'm stupid," because honestly, that's what you are... especially if you think using that word as an insult is okay. Actually... using it at all isn't really a good idea, its derogatory in every sense of the word. So just shut up, okay?

And if I yell at you about it just ...smile because it happened.